Overcoming Pike Syndrome!

My friend Manasa, she is very pretty has thick and silky hair that hangs a little bit below her shoulders and few hair hangs on one side of her face which gives a good look and prettier like Vidya Balan in ‘Lageraho Munnabhai’  movie. 

In college we were group of friends and used to call her ‘Beauty ‘and used to tease her a lot and had lots of fun especially in the hostel. She is very sportive, beautiful, intelligent, fun and full of life. She used to work in Hyderabad for a construction firm before leaving to USA after marriage and has two kids Sanvi (8 year old) and Anand (6 year old).

She used to tell me that ‘She is Desi and her kids are Angreji’. 

When I asked her about this, she said,’ they born in Chicago and speaks English. Even when she insisted to learn Telugu, her mother tongue they say ‘Chill mom’.

One day, she told Sanvi to learn dessert names in Telugu in a hope of cropping an interest for language.

Hmm ‘okay Mom’ said Sanvi.

She showed a ‘Laddoo’ and ask her to repeat the name Laddoo

Sanvi said ‘Laadoo’.

Sanvi repeated ‘Laadoo’ irrespective of her efforts. Finally Manasa said to herself if I do this more, it looks like I am gonna forget Telugu. Better I should think something innovative to teach them the language.

Poor girl…. her efforts are ON even today.

She called me one day and said ‘Anu I need your help’.

What happened Manasa ? Is there any good news of third baby? Do I need to do baby sit?

Umm….nothing like that. Baby sit is not an easy job dear. It will be a roller coaster ride with my kids and you will run away in few days…

Hmm….

Jokes apart, what’s the matter dear? Is everything alright?

Yes Anu. Just want to share with you my feelings and thoughts.

Hmm.. go ahead  I am all ears!

‘It’s been more than 7 years coming to States and I didn’t do anything to upgrade my knowledge and skills. I prepared for TOEFL and GRE to get admission in to MS when I came here in 2008, somehow it didn’t materialize and now I am feeling like I am where I was then when I left Hyderabad. I had such a long gap from work & studies and lost touch what can I do now?

It’s not like for the first time I felt this, almost every year I feel like filling up the form of admission in spring or Autumn but...

I feel like still I have some more time as kids need to understand and do their works by their own and of course I don’t have any regrets that I had given entire time to the family as Family is my biggest strength.

But now I feel yes it’s time I want to push myself and need to stop further postponing enrolling in to MS but not happening. Suggest me few  meditation courses or something as my mind is continuously thinking about this and struggling with me , I feel like depressed or something which I am not sure what it is and  am not at all feeling good..."

She poured her heart out but I don’t know how to console her. Somehow I said, ‘you should try Raja yoga and google it for meditation centers which are there in Chicago near to your place. Also, you may try in you tube for meditation courses.’

I remember saying, 'listen to music and busy yourself by doing something u like painting, fitness etc...'

Anu I am not interested in any of these things...just I want to calm down my mind...

I was in touch with her for some days on and off giving moral support and somehow we got busy in our lives and lost touch.

After an year, She called and said she got admission in Loyola University Chicago

Wow dear..I am so happy for you. How come you did this?

Manasa said, ‘Anu, I just told to myself loudly that,’ I can do it; I will do this and no more procrastination. This is my Decision’.

Bob Proctor, Motivational Speaker in one of his videos explained that

 First step is ‘Make the decision and be there. And that’s really what you have to do’.

‘The second you make a decision, you flip your brain on to a different frequency and you start to attract things to you that you'd never get without making the decision.’

“You are the only problem you will ever have and you are the only solution. Change is inevitable, personal growth is always a personal decision.” – Bob Proctor

This is all I did Anu and now I am where I wanted to be. I am Happy and content now. This principle applies to any circumstance, anything you want to achieve.

Finally, she had broken her glass barrier and took the first step of realizing her potential. No more a surrendered Pike.

I am trying my best to break the glass ceiling? Are you ?

Pike syndrome

You may have heard of the famous research experiment where a northern pike (a fish) was placed in one-half of a large aquarium, with numerous minnows swimming freely (and visibly) in the other half of the glass divided tank.  As the pike became hungrier, it made numerous unsuccessful efforts to eat the minnows, but only succeeded in battering its snout against the glass divider.  Slowly the pike learned that reaching the minnows was an impossible task, and simply gave up.  When the glass partition was removed, the pike surprisingly didn’t attack the minnows even though they swam freely around the tank.

Many of us fail to push past our self-imposed barriers of limitation.

Awareness is the first step.

Bibliography :

Source of my inspiration: My friend Nishant

https://www.annegradygroup.com/are-you-a-victim-of-the-pike-syndrome/

Expressing gratitude for being my friend Mitya!

Remembering our initial days of knowing each other :

At the very first day of our meeting in Vedanta, Jharsuguda, I felt , I should be very careful and stay away from you  as you look very stout and tall and thought that if you get angry , you may even lift me and throw me just like Hulk😉!

But eventually,  I got to know about your nature and the best part I like in you is you make every one around you laugh and smile by cracking funny jokes. Ofcourse , over a  period of time we became good friends.

I learned few Gujarati words from you, 'Kem Bapu maja mane' though i didn't know the meaning of this line then, I used to use on you and nanu.And few more words like Dobi , doba etc...

Those days are really fun!!  Being my first job, that too away from Andhra Pradesh without knowing Hindi and Odiya, managing in english and learning Hindi from you guys and contractors ,above all these Gujarati words....it's like roller coaster ride 🙂 and now i feel how time flies in a flash of second !!

Time passed by and you left Vedanta to join BEC and came to Muscat in 2009

After I think three years...... 

With your reference,  Amit got an offer in BEC and we came to Muscat,Oman joining you.

I am grateful for getting the opportunity to explore this side (middle east Muscat, Oman) of the world far from my home in India. I am thankful to you my friend  Amit Dhudhaiya aka Mitya.

Days in Muscat:

 You took us to almost all the places in and around Muscat and the most memorable one was one night stay at the resort in Jebel Shams where we had lot of fun (those pictures of yours ,neelam ,Amit and mine and the beautiful mountains of Jebel Shams and those moments are still afresh in my eyes) 

Also,I must say, I  got intrigued in to photography  being in your company , I discovered my interest  in this and started  taking pictures in various angles to enhance my  creativity which I never experimented before. This was a new learning for me 😃!!!

 

Though there are few difficult times due to misunderstandings, we let go those and maintained our friendship with flying colors.

Thank you  my friend Mitya for being my friend!!🤔😂🙂😎

My Dearest Friend and her Determination

Shabnam , my friend and walking partner, she is 38 years old ,5.2' height with a beautiful welcoming smile on her face  and  so enthusiastic. She got married little earlier than the current trend in India and has two kids  Alisha 15 &  Ali 9 year old.

“I love to listen and she loves to talk”

We enjoy each other’s company sharing our views on different topics like our families , the places we belong to in India, our traditions etc and we laugh out loud from the core of our heart on simple jokes ,but one thing  she always says  that she want to learn and explore  many things  but didn't get an opportunity to do so.

Our Apartment is provided with open Car parking area and good enough space for walking, riding bicycles and a Shuttle court in between A and B block buildings. 

Children ride bicycles inside the compound daily. So one day, I felt like riding it as it’s been so long and  so I borrowed a bicycle from one of my friends daughter and started riding. Shabnam said,' I too want to  Anu but I  didn't get a chance to learn and  moreover this is not my age to learn cycle ,I should have learned it when I was a kid' .

'Age doesn't matter just try at least once ' I said.

But she didn't listen. Few days passed she watched me riding cycle and she walked her routine 3 km target. One day, I said  'Come dear I will help you riding cycle', then she started initially with

NO..

then OK...

then finally she said YES I will do it....

She continued practicing her son Ali's cycle , her husband too started helping her seeing her WILL to learn ...normally weekends I took off from walking so in the evening I got ready for shopping with my family and we came downstairs to get into the car.

To my surprise, i saw Shabnam practicing riding cycle.

I told her 'you should take rest at least in the weekends’, her answer is  EPIC.

'Anu I just started learning how can I leave it unless I completely learn and ride by my own'.

Wow!  'Her determination to learn something new has been admirable'.

 Sri Sri Ravi Shankar rightly said, 'everyone should try to retain their childlike wonder’

Finally, she learned riding bicycle in just 10 days and she didn't stop there she learned basic swimming and finally her wish to see the world also came true...

She is travelling to London and Europe in August 2019 month with her family....

"Dream is not that which you see while sleeping it is something that does not let you sleep.” ― A P J Abdul Kalam

I wish you all the very best for your future endeavors dear!

This is the story of my friend and her determination. This proves that 'Age is just a number and it could not stop one from learning new things.'

My First Visual Inspiration

 2005,  I was in my 3rd year of Engineering, preparing for GATE, the entrance examination for 'M-Tech ( Masters in Technology). The results were out for my Seniors (Final year ), who appeared for GATE. That day, I was passing thru the newly built Computer lab in Civil Engineering department, my friend Manasa called me in,  to accompany her in the lab, to check some stuff related to paper presentations. 

While she was surfing the internet, I observed, few of my seniors, who wrote GATE were eagerly waiting for their result,  as if the whole nation is waiting, sitting in front of television sets for Sachin Tendulkar Sixer.

Due to busy on the network, it's taking more time to display the results.  

That's the moment, I saw  Krishna Chaitanya, my senior, who is so excited and so positive about the result, I was just observing, how a person can be that confident. All of a sudden,  the one who is checking the result on the Computer screen screamed 'Chaitu', you nailed it. Admission in IIT (Indian Institute of Technology, the prestigious institute in India) will be confirmed. His reaction was amazing, Krishna Chaitanya with full of confidence shouted YES YES, I MADE IT, clenching fist, moving his right hand downwards and upwards, as if he lifted the Cricket World Cup!!

I was like watching him, his reaction, his movements.And, I just thought for a second, Maybe this is the taste of Success, which  I too wanted a modicum of it. This visual was captured in my subconscious mind and throughout my preparation of one year for this entrance exam,  this was the visual keep rewinding in my head and reminds me of my goal. 

Literally, I started seeing my self in Chaitanya's  place and saying YES,  I did it. And, the day has come, I was standing in the same place, where he stood, and checking my result,  My friend Manasa was beside me, I was so tensed, but she held my hand and said, Anu, you will get it..Just believe in yourself, mocked like Amitabh Bachan in 'Kaun Banega Crorepati'. Finally, the GATE result appeared on the screen.

Manasa said confirm Anu, you will get it in IIT for sure. Your rank is 613. I felt very happy that, though I am not expressive like him,  I  said to myself, YES, I made it.

I learned about the importance of visualization very much later in my life after reading 'THE SECRET' book by Rhonda Byrne. Though I was unaware of this concept of visualization in the year 2005, I understood now,  that my success in clearing GATE exam was my visualization, which is very clear towards my goal.

Thank you very much, Krishna Chaitanya  Annaya for inspiring me. 

“The reason visualization is so powerful is because as you create pictures in your mind of seeing yourself with what it is you want, you are generating thoughts and feelings of having it now.” –The Secret

Beautiful Old Traditional clay Houses in Misfat Al Abriyeen

Beautiful Old Traditional clay Houses in Misfat Al Abriyeen with lanterns and clay pots representing Local Omani tradition, surrounding with amazing huge mountains.Manifestly, spending time in this beautiful village is truly a bliss from the busy city life!

🙂

All the credit goes to AOL team due to whom, we were there in that picturesque location enjoying with our families!

A Friend & A cup of Tea

.....I was sleeping like a bed-slug in the early morning and somehow I got up, rubbed my eyes with knuckles gently and found that my husband, Amit already left to office.

Actually as per our rule list, weekend’s homework has to be done by Amit. However, he went to office on some urgent work leaving everything on me.

Hmmm…

I switch on the FM Radio and it was my favorite song ‘Poora London Thumakda’ from the movie ‘QUEEN’.
I felt so refreshed as if I am the Queen and tapped my feet to this song. Of course, I am the Queen of my Life.
Listening to the song, went to Kitchen, as usual nothing was cleaned to make a cup of tea. So, started washing a bowl.

Once done, I kept the container on the stove, and put all the ingredients for making tea including Ginger. After few minutes, my tea is ready.

I took the cup of tea and sat near the window. Looking at the beautiful sky, reading paper, had a sip of tea.

I immediately, took away the cup from my mouth, as there is very less amount of sugar and almost sugarless

Hmmm…God!  When I am gonna learn making a perfect cup of tea.

I immediately recap an incident, which happened to me in the context of tea.

 We were group of friends, who works in the same Manufacturing Plant, but for different companies.

One day, I was waiting for my friends at outside my office.
 My boss pass by and asked me, hey Anu, Shall I drop you at home?
No.Thank you sir.
I am waiting for my friends. They are on their way. Will go with them. Thank You Once again for your concern.
It’s Okay Anu.
See you tomorrow.
Bye. Have a nice day.
‘Thanks and same to you too. Bye.’ I said
After 10 Min, my friend’s vehicle came and I got in.
Why are you people so late? I screamed.
‘We have work at site. Not like you ‘ said Vijit
‘What do you mean?’ I too work, not like you, working alternative days and praising yourselves. Understand.’ I said
Hmmm….
‘Whatever, Anu says, say yes all of you guys’ said Vijit.
‘Yes’, loudly yelled everyone in the car.
‘No, It’s not like that’, I said
‘Oh, that means you agree that you don’t have work at office. Isn’t it? ’,Said Vijit.
‘Hey Vijit, You are just bantering. I don’t give any reply from now on.’ I said.
Oh no, Anu dada, It’s not like that.
And we continued quarrelling….
In the meanwhile, we reached our apartment.
Children playing at downstairs, saw us, and shouted’ Vijit Uncle. How are you?’
He did not reply .Nevertheless, I said with a giggle, ‘Uncle is very fine kids.’
He got annoyed, gave a furious look at me, and went to his flat.
‘Hey uncle bye, see you tomorrow.’ I said with a smirk and left to my flat.
After reaching my flat, I came to know that I forgot my home keys.
I telephoned Geeta & Kalpana, my roommates, to ask about their coming home time. And they said, it may take another two more hours.
Hmm.I left to Vijit’s flat to sit there until they come.
I saw him sitting in sofa, which is in front of the door.
‘Hi Vijit, what are you doing?’
Nothing yaar, everyone went out on some or other works like paying bills, etc and as I am tired, I stayed at home.
Where is Dev, your cook?
I don’t know , where he roams? May be at downstairs talking with Aunt’s.
Oh okay.
Hey Anu, can you make a cup of tea for me? Pls.
‘I said to myself, this is the toughest question so far in my life. I don’t understand why Vijit always troubles me asking such type of difficult questions?’
Umm..Yaar, actually I do not know how to make tea. However, I can try for you.
Try? Exclaimed Vijit and said, ’No No, leave it’, as if I am gonna give poison to him
How come you don’t know this, have you never done at your home?’
‘No. I only know drinking tea when my mom gives to me.’ Said innocently
‘Hmm.. Amit, god only can save you! ’Said Vijit
I was annoyed and rigidly said, ‘No, I will make now, and you will say how tasty it is?’
‘Hmm..okay let’s see. But, I will be sitting here watching TV.I won’t guide you. Okay’ said, Vijit.
‘By the way, I don’t need your guidance, I said in a firm voice.’
I took the vessel and kept on the stove, ignited, poured some milk and then I took tea powder and sugar. And I let it on the stove for some time.
‘Hey vijit, Tea is ready.’ I shouted! As if I achieved something big’.
‘Oh is it!’ Incredulously said Vijit

I poured it in a cup and gave it to him.
He took a sip and kept the cup on the table’
What happened?’ I asked
You also have once and tell me how it is?
I said okay, and took a sip.
Chee …I roared with a frown on my face & kept the cup back on the table.
Tea is deplorably bad in taste. I said to myself.
‘Hope now you understood the taste, isn’t it?
What are the ingredients you used? Why the taste is like this?’ Vijit questioned me like a lawyer.
I said, you come to kitchen once, I will show you what I used for making tea.
He came and I showed him all the things I used.
Oh god!  you used Masala Powder instead of Tea powder! Don’t you know the difference? ’He asked in a firm Voice.
I said, ’it’s not written on the box. Hence, I thought this should be the tea powder and so I used it.’
‘Hmm..what to do with you? Amit god also cannot save you now.’ he yelled
‘Amit is in Bangalore, you don’t worry. I will learn by that time I get married.’ I said quietly
‘Vijit, pls don’t tell to other friends .They will tease me for lifetime.’ I said in a low voice.
No, I will tell to everyone. This is a very good chance to tease you. And I am not gonna miss this.’
Pls Yaar. You are my friend. Pls..
‘Okay then, on one deal.’ He said
Okay.
‘You should not call me uncle anymore. And even when kids in the building says, then you should tell them not to say. Okay.’
Hmm..Okay. What about after marriage? Then also, shouldn’t I say Uncle?
‘Yes. You should not say this word forever.’ Deal?
‘Umm Okay Deal’. I said.
Good.
‘Hmmm..sometimes one need to surrender , no other way…..It’s his time, let him….One day will get opportunity to tease him, let’s wait ‘.I said softly.
What?’ said Vijit
‘Nothing dear. Now, can you  pls show me how to make tea?’ I requested.
Okay.
And he explained me step by step and under his guidance, I did it.
Dev came home, saw me at Kitchen. ‘Madam, what are you doing?’
Making Tea..
Have it and tell me how it is?
‘He had my tea and said okay’. I felt very happy.
And wordlessly I thanked Vijit.

Hmmm…………

Feeling Nostalgic!  Revealed the secret.

 “Making tea is not as easy as it looks. However, remembering a blend of good memories makes a perfect day & a person happy forever”. -------Anu

 

(Remembering those memories, brought a smile on my lips and left to kitchen to keep the cup in wash basin……)

 

Clearing out the Clutter

……Saturday.. Weekend … but no enthusiasm….no plans of how we are gonna spend these two days…

My home is filled with lot of mess, many vessels to wash in kitchen and even my mailbox is filled with scrap. I started reading some mails that were pending in my inbox and is an easy thing to do early morning.

One mail intrigued me very much. It is about clearing out the clutter. I read the article posted by Mr. Arvind Devalia, a Philanthropist. It was nice and motivated.

Then I thought it is a good idea to start with.

Oh god! I would have cleaned on daily basis….it’s tough doing in weekly basis.

I started clearing unused &old clothes from wardrobes of my bedroom one by one. I startled at one shirt, which was gifted by my best friend without knowing whether it fits me, I never wore it until date, as it is XL size formal shirt but just kept as a remembrance.

I tied all unused clothes in a box and kept aside. I called Amit to look after other stuff in the bedroom. He entered into the room irritatingly….shouting ‘what the hell is happening over here?’ Why all of a sudden started cleaning?

Every husband says these usual dialogues. So no worries.

I got one of your girlfriends gift lying in that cupboard. Check it and if not required let me know, I said.

Oh! Is it?

Yes…

Why are you sooo excited about it suddenly? You were saying something like hell, cleaning etc? I said.

Nothing yaar, just like that …pls don’t mind..

First tell me where is my girlfriends present?

I said, check in that cupboard. Hope u will get it…

Amit started searching for a while and didn’t find…
while doing so, he throwed all the things from cupboard on to the floor…

Where is it Anu? I didn’t find.

Ha haa…Thank you…

Why thanks ? Said Amit..

Actually I called you to remove the stuff in those cupboards as I am tired and you did it…

If I ask politely u never do….so I did this way..ha ha..

Youuu…..

Okay okay ..it’s in the prayer room…Ur girlfriend gave “Lord Shree  Krishna’s” idol .isn’t it?

I already kept it in prayer room. Pls check it..

Is there anything else you found? asked Amit.

I said so far nothing…

Oh Okay .I thought you might have found my girlfriend’s love letter, which I kept safely .He, said quietly with chuckle on his face and left the room.

Hmm … is it? Then clean the other room, you may find it.

Slowly I finished clearing all the old stuff and finally cleaned everything.

I felt very tired and took a short break in between.

Thinking what next?

I remembered Mr.Arvind Devalia’s lines: “Clutter is not just those physical things hoarded for years.It includes time commitments and other things that use up more of your energy than you can afford to give them.”

Umm..

(Thinking whom I spoke with in past few days..)

Yes, got it.I promised my friend Manasa who is staying in US that I will give a call to her today.

Here I would like to say that BUSY is the only word always tries to keep you away from your friends, family and well-wishers.

I hate saying BUSY to my people who are close to me.

I faced these situations titled ”BUSY”.

Recently I had been to India for Diwali. And I telephoned almost all of my friends about my arrival to Bangalore and conveyed my Diwali Wishes. However, I missed phoning my friend Kalpana.

On the last day while leaving to Oman, I remembered her and messaged her saying, “I was busy all the time and am sorry for not calling you when I was in Bangalore”. Though she did not say anything, I felt very bad for that. And I took an oath that I never forget contacting my friends though I am busy.

                                                “Don’t promise or say a word when you can’t stand on it.”

I telephoned Manasa…tring..tring…..

Hey Manasa! How are you? See I said that today I will call and I called you…

Yes Anu. I am very happy. Today is my daughter’s Birthday. I want you to wish on her B’day.

Oh thanks dear for remembering me on this occasion.

Next year onwards, without missing I will give a call to her. I said. 

Okay dear. She said.

I felt very happy that I called her on time….If I phone her the next day, then the purpose of calling would have failed.

So always, stand on your commitments .And try to achieve most of them if not all…..And see the difference…

If you are unable to remember the things which you said you will do for yourself or for others, just write on a sticky note and put it on ur desk, computer, book etc ..

By following this for some days, you will feel the change, positive energy flows in your life and confidence level improves.

Also, one will have good bonding with their people. Just try it today and see the transformation.

If there are any problems in friendships….just ring them up and clear the things. If it is not being cleared, at least will have a satisfaction that we tried our best from our end .

Cleaning your pile of mess in all respects keeps you energized …

 

 “Start Clearing out the Clutter in your Lives…and live a clean life..”